Admitting When You Are Wrong

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Admitting when you’re wrong. This is something so many of us struggle with. Firstly, we don’t want to believe we’re wrong; but once we have had this realisation we most definitely don’t want to admit it. Generally, you make a point in a discussion because you genuinely believe in it. If you passionately put this point forward and then begin to realise you are wrong, it can be very embarrassing and difficult to fess up. But here’s why you should.

As someone who hates conflict, the most persuasive reason for me to do this is because it ends the argument. If you show someone that you have learned from what they have said and now understand that you were previously wrong, they are likely to happily stop arguing with you. There is nothing more to argue over. Spending yours and their time arguing when you already know you are wrong will rile both of you up even more. Nobody likes to waste time.

As well as this, it is an extremely attractive trait. It is infuriating to be around someone who thinks that they are ALWAYS right. It often gets to the point where there is no point discussing anything with them because they simply will not listen. The opposite applies when someone has the ability to admit and accept that they may be wrong. It is refreshing and calming to be around. It allows and encourages many discussions on interesting topics to be had, because you know you are both listened to and can learn from each other.

Leading on from that, one of my main mottos in life is that you can learn from everyone. If you have the closed mindsight that only your point of view is correct, you are preventing yourself these learning opportunities. Discussing and widening your horizon is one of the most rewarding things you can do in life. Don’t ruin this for yourself.

It can be difficult, and I’m not telling anyone to be a pushover. Stick up for yourself when you strongly believe you are right. But there will inevitably be times when you’re not. Realising this can greatly enrich your life.

Sending hugs, Kiayah xxx

coming clean

Coming clean to yourself and everyone else is purifying, cleansing and calming. But it definitely starts with you.

By coming clean, I mean being honest with yourself. If there’s something you oppress, try to hide from the world, chances are you probably try to hide it from yourself too. Push away the thoughts that creep up about it, quickly filling your mind with something else. This is harmful for many reasons.

If you can’t fully accept whatever it is that’s bothering you, you can’t accept yourself. You will end up with lots of oppressed emotion which builds up and can come out in hurtful ways. You may feel generally depressed, you may take it out on the people closest to you, which will only make you feel worse about yourself. Taking the time to think about this aspect of yourself and force yourself to accept it will benefit your mental health. Once you have accepted it, you can work on loving it.

Take a more trivial example like supporting a football team. If you have been raised to support Everton but actually want to support Liverpool (*cough cough* I’m talking to you mum😉), it will take a lot of energy to pretend you support Everton. Watching the Derby would be painful because you want to cheer when Liverpool score. If you accept that you’d rather support the Reds, you can tell your family and friends. Some people will be annoyed, but if they truly don’t accept you for who you really are then they don’t deserve you.

This obviously happens with much more personal things that are difficult to deal with. But it’s the same principle. Accepting yourself and asking your friends and family to accept you will strengthen the truest bonds in your life, and allow you to live freely. It’s a weight off your shoulders, and allows you to begin to love yourself fully.

In the words of Ru Paul- if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gunna love someone else? If you’re reading this and have something you’re hiding, take this as a personal nudge to try it.

Sending hugs, Kiayah xxx

Operation Christmas Child

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed. There’s currently a lot of uni work for me to do, and my shifts in work have increased at the same time as the looming deadlines. One morning I felt particularly down about it all, and I was searching for things to make me feel better. In my state of panic and upset, I thought back to times when I have felt most joyful in life. I participated in Operation Christmas Child every year back in the school days, and I loved it. I knew this was a good answer to my quest.

I wanted to do it immediately, so instead of physically filling a box, I chose the online option. This is where you pay £20 to choose options such as ‘skipping rope’ or ‘football’ to add to your box. You can then add a picture and a message for the child or the family of the child to read. Personally, I chose this picture of my sister and I, because we are hugging. In the message I wrote that I was sending this hug to the child and her family. I wished them a Merry Christmas and told them that everybody deserves happiness, and that there is enough love in the world for everyone.

The difference that this can make to a child’s life is immense. Everyone deserves happiness. £20 is not a lot of money to make a child happy this Christmas. As well as gifts that they can play with, you can also send essentials such as gloves, hats, toothbrushes etc. Again, everyone deserves these things. We are all human, all the same, and we should all have a happy Christmas. If you don’t feel that you have £20, or even if you would just prefer to do it yourself, you can of course pack your own Shoebox. Including things like soft toys, toiletries, accessories, educational items. I do think there’s something nice about including items that you have personally chosen and packed.

Another way to contribute is through organisations that you are involved with. At my university, you can donate a single item or as many as you want, and then a team of volunteers packs, wraps and sends the shoeboxes. This is a typical representation of what happens in most organisations, such as schools, offices etc.

Giving what seems like a little to you, is a lot to someone else. I’m not saying that we should only give at Christmas, I’ve actually already written about giving all of the time during this post in summer (Giving Is Good). But Christmas can be a time of love and compassion, so why not use some of that. The thought of that little girl opening her gifts greatly lifted my spirits when I was feeling low.

Sending hugs, (literally this time), Kiayah xxx